Just off Toorak Road in South Yarra I am doing some writing in one of my favourite cafes; a place I have been frequenting for the past four years. It's coffee is made well, the staff are friendly and in winter, no matter what the weather is like outside of the congenial and smallish establishment, the room is always 'warm' with feeling. Well almost always ...
Like all good life experiences (and novels for that matter) there is often an occasional lesson to be learned, conflict to be overcome and a sense of humility that can be fostered.
I was organising my week, jotting some notes, planning for my catchup with screen play writers and sending an sms to my business manager re: the publishers(grrrrrr!), when I saw this woman get up from her table and I heard her snap gruffly, 'It's a bit bloody cold in here!' Furthermore, she dramatically threw her arms around her body as though she had just taken a dose of strychnine!
This action would not have been of interest had I not see her behaviour (some members of my year one class had more maturity) - AND ALSO - that I was wearing my ipod at that time listening to the dance version of 'Big Girls Don't Cry' (how appropriate ... tee hee!) and I could still hear her infantile howl.
Now... I have a sense of loyalty to the ten or so cafes that I have attended assiduously because as I wrote before, I have been frequenting them over the past four years. To have someone whom I have never met criticise the place, really got on my goat and it is only moments like this (and perhaps also on a dance floor at 3:32am) that the rational side to my character appears to desert me...OH GOD!!!
SHUT UP RAFTER...
Don't do it...
please don't...
So, looking over my collection of classic literature and my journal, I say rather pragmatically - 'Hmmmmmmmm' just loud enough for her to hear...
I SO WISHED I HAD NOT...
because...
I am sure she may have caused herself an injury (further adding insult to her temperature situation!)when at the end of my foolish, improper, indecorous, imbecilic and just plain DUMB comment she swung around in my direction...
The glare could not have been worse than the feeling of a thousand knives all thrown at the same time (well metaphorically speaking I would hope) - My goodness was she angry... and not just at the temperature... or lack there of. I was now the subject of her wrath.
I can confirm that it was certainly with no amount of humility or concern for my well being that she asked, 'What's your problem?'
Put simply - this was not a very nice situation in which I found myself. Literally being in the proverbial 'corner', I did what any sane person would do... I grabbed for my heart and pretended that I was about to have a heart attack... No, I am only kidding...tee hee!
No, I stood my ground in a rather unconventional way...
I looked her straight in the eye and said...
'A problem, fair lady, that I did not have until your rather brusque verbalisation as to your level of discomfort beseecheth me'
You should have seen the look on her face... (priceless) I just smiled.
She stormed out the door leaving her 'stuff' at her table and I looked at the waitstaff who burst into laughter.
Moments later - the door flung open and she was standing alone in all her glory... in a full length fur coat...
The look on my face was equal to that of hers to my ridiculous comment.
Obviously, some people feel the cold but it appeared a bit over the top considering we were indoors in Melbourne, Victoria; not in a open cattle carriage of a train bound for some town in northern Siberia!
She just smiled and resumed her seat.
My song had finished - but it did actually give me an idea - because the sms that I had just sent my Business Manager was regarding my lack of 'collateral' for doing the 'bidding' with the publisher (grrrrr!)because ... I am, in the literary world, ... 'A Nobody'
More about Ms Unhappiness in a minute...
I return home and I set up a 'Group' on Facebook called, 'Can't Wait for the Launch of '209 A Story'' ...
DING ... DING ... DING...
Within three seconds I had 3 people join and within 5 days I have 500 people in the group ... and it continues because I am determined to have 10 000 people on the group by the time of my meeting on Friday - (sideline... OMG - I JUST HAD A THOUGHT - what happens if Ms Unhappiness works for my Publisher! tee hee!).
My rationale is this - there are approximately 60 million people on Facebook - we are all connect by less than 6 degrees of separation and if I ask my 100 friends to ask ten of their friends to join - and then I ask those people to find 10 people - BANG ... 10k by Friday... all people wanting to know about Arthur's Story... SWEET! Then the publishers(grrrrrr!) will have to think more of me than just being a NOBODY!
So, if you read this and you want to join my group - please do so...(again... another sideline OMG - what happens if Ms Unhappiness is sent a request to join the 'Group' and reads this blog??????)
Finally, Ms Happiness is one of those people who scare me. In this life I think it is about realising that day to day life is often presented with difficulties - that is why it is called 'life' and not 'death'. I want to say a 'THANKYOU' to her because apart form the possibility of her reading this, her action of going over the top with her full length fur inspired me to go over the top with my attempt to make sure that when I approach the 'difficulties' of the meeting later this week with two people across a desk - I will at least know that I, Steven Rafter, have ten thousand others standing behind me wishing the best of luck...
Thanks people... Have a good week
Cheers Steven
