Australia Day 2009 & Our Sense of Adventure...

***A warning - this week's blog is a tad patriotic!***

During the week I was at a party (BBQ… very informal... as Australians do)… and someone handed me a can of 'UDL'. It was one of the ‘alcho-pops’ that has recently attracted an additional tax, because the government believe that the additional cost will deter people from binge drinking! (hmmmm) Believe me, the weather this week in the most amazing city on the planet would not have stopped anyone from drinking (alcoholic beverage or not)… no matter how much it cost! The temperature hit 45.6 degrees Celsius (114.08 degree Fahrenheit) on Thursday and the several days either side were not much better. As I opened the drink, I notice a comment on the side of the can… it said ‘Aussie Rule #1’. As I read it I smiled…

More about this later…

Monday, 26^th January was Australia Day for 2009. Yearly, it is a public holiday for the entire country. So, I went to the Australian Open Tennis at Rod Laver Arena on the banks of the Yarra River. To me… being an Australian is an honour beyond belief. In all my travels around the world, and in the many fascinating things I have seen in other countries and cultures, I am so proud when someone asks me where I am from. I live in the most multicultural city in the country and I love it. I have friends from many nationalities, from many faiths and even a new friend (the one who passed me the UDL can) who told me, with a huge smile on her face, that she was a ‘FOB’ (I had no idea what she was talking about until I was told later in the week that it meant… ‘Fresh Off the Boat’).

When I was 17 and headed off to Europe for a year (for school at a boarding school in Winchester, England) - I naively thought I was somewhat of a pioneer of the ‘Working Holiday Club’. I was on my ‘GAP YEAR’ before heading to University. It has only been since writing 209 A Story that I realised how wrong I was…

Back in 1904, when Arthur Gordon McCrae completed his studies in Engineering at the University of Sydney and left for Africa to take a position as an engineer for a gold mine, he was young man (merely a child of the newly formed Commonwealth of Australia). During my research of him, and while writing 209 A Story, I discovered that he was the original founder of ‘Working Holiday Club’ for Australians. My impression is that he was a man with a sense of adventure and wonderment in the far corners of the earth… It was something that he had in common with the Aussies of today who find themselves abroad; working and travelling. As I discovered more and more about him, I found myself thinking of my own travels. Often I wonder if he had similar feelings. Obviously not the same thing but there is nothing in the world like the experience of travelling fourteen hours on a flight… and then having to wait another four hours to catch yet another five-hour flight to another city before (finally) arriving at your destination. It is something Australians do on a regular basis to join the ‘club’. How different it would have been for Arthur… weeks on boats, long train journeys, horse rides and even travelling by sleigh. He travelled from Africa to England and then on to Russia (where he worked as a Deputy Mine Manger in Siberia)… Finally, he boarded RMS Titanic in Southampton on 10^th April 1912…

Moreover, I take so much pride in seeing Aussie’s do well on the sporting field, or discovering something new in the field of medical research, or achieving amazing things as volunteer workers, or in the arts. More often then not, these achievements are unsung. They are not brashly splashed across the media. That is not our way. We are a small population (in comparison with most other countries), but it is the determination to achieve which drives us all.

I read the side of the can to the small gathering - 'Aussie Rule #1'… ‘If you are hosting a la-de-da dinner with all the trimmings, like cutlery, you may wish to decant your UDL into a glass.’ Everyone laughed because it was funny. We don’t really care if the way we are portrayed to the world is as a bunch of people who are uncouth. We know we are not. We are just different.

My new friend called her self a ‘FOB’ because she realised that this country is not solely about formalities… Being Australian is about having a laugh at ourselves (ie Kath & Kim). It is about being fair to other people and about giving things a go. It is about not taking life so seriously. We... collectively... see ‘life is dance not a dirge’. Of course, no country is without its problems: socially, economically, environmentally etc, but this is where I believe WE are different. I think our ability to 'achieve' has much to do with our vast open spaces, our weather, our geographic isolation from the rest of the world (ie Down Under) and, of course… (just like Arthur McCrae one hundred years ago) … it is our sense of adventure.

Have a nice week everyone,

Peace
Steven x

Informal or Formal? Stupid or Wiser? U decide...

Leaving the IGA on late Wednesday night, I realised I had left my phone at work. I was on the way back to retrieve it when I was stopped in the street by this man who was approximately the same age as me. The look on his face was anxious. Taking my earphone from my ears I asked him if he was ok? He told me that his name was, George, and he needed to know the name of the street which was running adjacent to Collins. He lifted his hand and pointed. Speaking further, he then went on to tell me that he had run out of petrol on ‘Spencer Street’ and now had also locked his keys in the car, along with his wallet, ipod... and how he felt like an idiot.
More about George later...
This week my dealings with ‘209 A Story’ have been most interesting. Everything appears to be coming together. At moments I sigh and wonder if it is really happening. My head goes into a spin on what to do first because the list is growing longer and longer. This week there was a flood of email from the publishers, the web design team were busy and requiring various details about ‘209 A Story’ (for the 1st February launch of the web site), the lists of invites to launches were being composed, the invites printed and the final decision was to made about the venue for the Australian launch of the novel.
It was during one such interaction with two members of the ‘209 Team’ that I felt stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place. It all revolved around something rather silly... ready for this? It was the overwhelmingly difficult but rather important decision about which photograph they would use on the homepage of www.209astory.com . The uneasiness I felt was due to the photograph in question being an image of me! I discussed this with my friend, Victoria, at work over lunch yesterday...
The look on the face of George turned to embarrassment as he explained that he was from a town on the Mornington Peninsular. I told him that ‘I am sure’ it would ‘be fine’ and then asked how I could assist further. He asked if I knew of a petrol station around the area. He became almost despondent when I told him that the closest was in North Melbourne at the top of King St. He then suddenly realised he had no money due to his wallet being locked in the car... What a drama it was all becoming for him...
George appeared completely frustrated. Lifting up his mobile phone he said, ‘If I give you my mobile phone, would you lend me the money to get the petrol... and as soon I get back into the car I will give you the money back.’ I could hardly take the only thing he had, so I was most insistent that I did not want his mobile phone and laughed it off. I handed him $40. I ended up with the mobile phone... which was switched off. I said I would go back to the office to get my phone and meet him up on the corner of Collins and Spencer...
Victoria asked me what the problem was with the decision about the photograph. I advised the situation was a clash of opinions between two people. One believed the photograph was too informal and the other thought it most suitable. Where one confirmed that it would be a hit, the other believed it was projecting the wrong image. One thought the colour in the image was vibrant and (guess what?) the other said that it should have been a black and white image. She then went on for the next twenty minutes (without pausing!) telling me about how she appreciated what they were suggesting but confrimed that she did believe that the world is ready for a NEW IMAGE OF AN AUTHOR! She then changed the subject...
I arrived back at my desk, picked up my phone, and sawI had a message from one of the ‘photographic critics’ reinforcing their opinion... yet again! After a lengthy reply, I left the building to find my unfortunate 'friend'. Arriving on the corner... I looked up and down the street but could not find the car. I gather he had moved it. For twenty minutes I stood waiting for him to return. I thought I would turn his phone on just in case he was trying to contact his phone. I looked down, it lit up... it read... ‘INSERT SIM CARD!’
It was Victoria’s final comments which got to me... ‘Did you hear about this conperson who is telling people he has run out of petrol and getting them to pay him $30 for a can and then he runs off with the money?’ and then she added, ‘How can people be so gullible? They must be really ‘stupid’ to fall for something like that.’
It was on the tip of my tongue to say... ‘it was $40 not $30!’ - but I just smiled and thought... People like George will always be who they are because they spend their energy tricking people and being deceptive (not only to others but to themselves). He appears to have very little consciousness about his actions and how they affect people they con. He just does not care; that is his life. The ‘stupid’ people are having book launches... and realising their dreams!
Penultimately, it’s life in the big city! ‘You got to take the good with the bad’. Hopefully, it all evens out- you learn lessons and, even more hopeful, one does not become bitter but becomes that little bit wiser.
Have a wise week everyone
Steven
ps... You'll have to wait and see the decision for the photograph on www.209astory.com ... but regardless Victoria was write... the world is ready for a new image of an author.

Really Look At It... Acknowledge It... Deal With It... AND MOVE ON!

(This week... I have changed the names in this blog to protect myself from any possible litigation... and any hit-men!)

The conversation went something like this...

My Friend... Hey Steven Rafter – how are you?
Myself... Hey Dan, I have not seen u for so long – how are you?
My Friend... Yeah, all good... but are you ok?
Myself... Yeah of course... why?
My Friend... Well, u have lost so much weight and u look tired...
Myself... Thanks Dan...

Meeting up with my mate Dan on Collins Street on Monday was the catalyst for my ‘shock of the week’. I have not seen him (or his wife, Claire) for almost two years. They got married in Sydney and moved to the USA for twelve months. Through one way or another, we had lost contact... that is until now!
Dan is a psychologist and his wife is a lawyer. I originally met them at a function at the National Gallery of Victoria in 2006. They are certainly an interesting couple. Every time I have gone to dinner with them I have always felt like a ping pong ball at full speed... at a finals tournament somewhere in the Chinese Capital – being belted back and forward between them as they vie for what is more ‘just’... the parameters of the law (in Claire’s case) or, the open ended wonderment of the mind (Dan’s world).
The only problem I have with this is they always appear to be in ‘help’ mode with me. (re: initial catch up conversation above). This has never been at my behest. It has been at their own undertaking... BUT... I must write... I appreciate their words because they are good people who care... they are my friends.
Dan went on to say that he had heard about ‘209 A Story’ (through a mutual friend) and ‘they’ were so pleased to hear that I was ‘finally’ being published. When I said goodbye, Dan suggested that we catch up for dinner later in the week. I proudly told him that I was working in the afternoons... at my new job. He said he would send me an email...
As good as his word, I arrived home that night to find an email from Dan (and Claire)... They were both full of praise for the blog and for the impending launch of ‘209 A Story’. However, they both wrote of their ‘concern’... Dan- because he thought I was ‘overwhelmed’ with everything... and Claire – because of what Dan had told her.
Obviously, I had looked far worse than I thought! My mirror was lying to me...
I declined their offer to dinner on Friday night but I thanked ‘them’ for their kind words. Also, in the return email, I sent my new mobile number and wrote that I was happy to catch up early next week.
The following morning my phone rang... it was Dan. As the conversation went on (with Claire grabbing the phone several times) I suddenly felt as though I was sitting in his rooms and being analysed for everything I said. I had made comment about my new job, my fantastic social life, the excitement of learning more and more about the world of publishing... and finally, about someone who had really disturbed me... side note ...(See, I come from a world where I have rarely found people to be unkind. I was bought up with a philosophy of treating people how you wish to be treated. I try and see the very best in everyone. I find this attitude to life makes me very happy on a daily basis. I can count on one hand the number of people who have rocked my world to the extent, where I would lose sleep, churn their association with me over and over in my mind and in some instances... do completely irrational things. I have found it once in a former boss, once in a relationship ‘thing’, once in a school buddy and once in a work colleague... I am not going to say which one this particular person was, but I will say that we were involved in a situation where we had each other’s phone numbers, knew each other’s addresses and all that type of thing.)
I continued talking with Dan (and Claire) on the phone.

The conversation went like this...

My Friend...

Steven, you have always been so nice to so many, many people... and those people think a lot of you.
Myself... Thank you, Dan.
My Friend... But, I do think you should make a list of how you feel about that person, really look at it... acknowledge it... deal with it... and move on.
Myself... Thank you Dan...
My Friend... Write it in an email and send it to me. You, Claire and I can talk about it when we catch up next week.
Myself... Thank you Dan... No, I really am fine!

The following day – I cannot work out what unsettled me more... the knowledge that this person was continuing to upset me so much OR that I was talking to a psychologist about it! All the while, in the back of my mind, I was wondering what I would write if I did as he suggested... and if I did so... would it actually work... ie ‘really look at it... acknowledge it... deal with it... and move on.’
Arriving home late that night, (almost midnight)... I opened a word document and started typing...

I opened a flood gate!

The contents of my mind and heart poured out and into my computer page... about everything! All the things that had disturbed me regarding this person. Holy Nelly... it went on for pages! I wrote down everything that was horrible about the situation in which I found myself. I wrote of why I was so disturbed and why I was so incredibly sad. I even wrote my own evaluation of that person and how they had to work out their own life. That they really did not give a crap about what I thought. I wrote about how destructive it was to the people who cared about them. It went on and on and on and on... Inevitably, it did answer my question... it ended with a realisation that (in my own mind if I was to move on with it) - I would need to hand their part of the problem back to them and they needed to deal with it and live with it; regardless what they think of me now. The way they treated me was so unacceptable, I had allowed it to happen because of who I am and for that I take accountibility.

I must admit, by the end of my thesis... I felt much better.
So... I thought further about what Dan had suggested to me. Instead of sending the entire document (because I had visions of being stuck for 2 weeks with them discussing every point I wrote...) I abridged the pages into a couple of paragraphs – cut and pasted it into an email to Dan (and Clarie)... I hit ‘send’.
In that instant my entire world fell in on me...
I was trembling when I went to my ‘sent items’ and saw that I had actually sent the email to the person about whom I was writing and NOT AT ALL to Dan (and Claire)! Embarrassment commenced to boil in my toes and travelled upwards until my head hurt so much that I thought I was going to pass out with what I had just done!!!
As I lay in bed early that morning unable to sleep, I realised that even though I never wanted to open my email again... I had actually done what Dan had suggested... I wrote it down... I really looked at it... I acknowledged it... I dealt with it... and now... I HAVE MOVED ON.
Have a good week everyone,
Cheers
Steven

My Ya Hee, My Ya Har... My Ya Week that Was! Good and Bad...

After lunch, and while sitting in on a training session Thursday afternoon, I heard a song being played on the Instructor's iphone. I listened to the tune for several minutes. The words began hitting me and the rap song began to dance round and round in my head. It gave to me an answer to my week that had been presenting itself as subtly as Mt Krakatau... on a bad day.

I would have to put this past week down to being one of the most interesting weeks’ of my entire life. It was just all wrong... on so many levels... and, just as absurdly, it was so right. It was ‘GOOD’ and ‘BAD’... multiplied several times... with a kick. Everything appeared to be magnified; all the feelings, experiences, opportunities, phone calls, comments, emails, emotions. If something was really good this week... it was ridiculously so. If something was not so go... it affected me profoundly. The equilibrium to the last seven days was nonexistent. Well... not until I heard that song.

I got up from my desk at the back of the room and went to ask him what it was. I went home that night down loaded it and have listened to it at least three thousand times.

More about this later...

(BAD...) On Monday I went to the showroom where I had first seen the Kompressor (re: last week’s blog). It had been shipped that day and now all that remained was an empty space.

(GOOD) So I sat in the Fitzroy Garden and read a chapter from ’Northern Lights’ – the novel by Philip Pullman that I had been given for Christmas. I was up to the part of the story where Lyra had escaped from Mrs Coulter with her daemon and the aletiometer and had joined the Gyptians in the Fen. I was lost in the story and was seated in the most magnificent setting; it was if the entire text had come to life around me. Beautifully coloured butterflies nestled on the steel arms of the chair, the sun was shining, birds flew overhead and tweeted as if to say ‘hello’, and the multitude of summer flowers were bright and sweet smelling.

(Good) Throughout the week I received hundreds of email from people all over the world who had read the blog last Sunday. They all made the most interesting comments (and observations). More than I had ever received previous. Particular a woman from Mexico... who likes my blog so much that she wished to link here website to it...

(Good) I commenced my new job on Wednesday and I have never been in a position that I have enjoyed so much. I am sure that most of you will relate to being the new person in town. You meet so many people and you take in so much information and everyone seems so very nice... (only to be confronted several weeks later that you have forgotten almost everyone’s name, your brain fried due to information overload, and everyone who appeared so nice initially... is not as nice as you first thought... and they hate their job) (BAD!). Well – this situation appears different – almost everyone to whom I have spoken over the past three days informs me that they LOVE their job and one particular person (her name is Flint) advised me that the people with whom I am working are as consistent with their friendliness on day one as they have been over the past three or four years since she first arrived.

Flint was my multiplied work experience for the week... (I know we will become very good friends) – she has a wicked sense of humour and I learned that she is into ‘spinning’ and she told me in detail of how people have developed yarns from soy and from plastics for sustainability... oh there was also the story about her Uncle whom the family call ‘Lucky Len the Lovely Lama Farmer’ (guess what he does for a living?) (Good... with a ha ha!)

I stubbed my toe on the end of the bed Tuesday night and grimaced in pain. I was tired from the lack of sleep during the previous night that I just got into bed and tried to cope with the pain of it all. Wednesday morning I woke to find blood stained sheets and a much bruised big toe. (BAD... and painful!), I burned the toast twice (BAD and smelly), Harry knocked a bottle of wine from the kitchen counter (the bottle did not belong to me!!) (BAD and expensive and messy), I received a horrible email from a man in the United States of America claiming that I was spamming the internet with information about '209 A Story' (BAD and yucky... and a complete lie!). I lost my rail card (BAD and inconvenient), was abused by someone when I ran across the road to the station (BAD and uncalled for), and I also forgot my umbrella (BAD in Melbourne!)

THEN... I received a copy of the cover of ‘209 A Story’. There is very little else to which I can compare, or explain, the feelings I had when I saw the cover of the book (with the title and my name). It is the culmination of almost four years of work and a life-time of interest... (VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, GOOD! :-)

I was then bought back to 'my week that was' and I realised that had no one with whom to share my joy (BAD and sad!). I had moved away from my friends in South Yarra and I was overwhelmed with a staggering sense of loneliness. I tried to console myself with the thought of it being a truly ‘personal’ experience... and the start of something amazing... (it really didn’t work... BAD and delusional) – I was just lucky that I had my new job to go to the next day.

I met up with my friend Ben Smith for coffee- (he is an amazing fashion designer here in Melbourne). See... even my friends this week were good and bad... he gave me his opinion of my obcession with the Kompressor and then we laughed alot about the individual paths that this year of 2009 are taking... My friend KT - a person whom I love very, very much expressed her concern that I had been ignoring people (ie my friends) for too long and I needed to stop and see what was really important in my life... (btw thanks for that slap! x)

So... I go to the front of the room and asked Brendan for the name of the song... and he replied... It’s IT feat Rhianna and the name of the song is... ‘Live Your Life’!’ While standing there, the chorus started and this is what I heard... ‘You’re gonna be a shining star, fancy clothes, fancy cars... And then you’ll see, you’re gonna go far. Cause everyone knows, who you are... So... LIVE YOUR LIFE...’ but it was the next line I heard that really got to me... ‘What you need to do is to be thankful for the life you’ve got (you know what I’m saying?)... Stop looking at what you aint got and be thankful what you do got!’

Have a good (and bad) week everyone... tee hee
Cheers
Steven

The 'K' word, an Obsession, A Lesson and a Better Tomorrow...

Several weeks before Christmas, I had been for a run in the CBD of Melbourne and I happened to stop briefly and turned to my left...

That is when I saw it!

I almost lost my breath. I was in love, instantly! From first observation it was sleek by design, top of the range with all the bells of whistles. I took a closer look. My heart was racing. Everything about it was right: the colour, the style, the interior. It was the Kompressor. I have been in the market for a new car for quite some time (since I sold my last one to pay for my ridiculously high hotel bill at the Waldorf Astoria in New York when I was writing part of 209 A Story.) In that instant my life was changed.

So... I made a decision. Still wearing my sweaty running shorts and singlet, I decided to take it for a test drive. It was amazing. It was everything I thought it would be. All my initial impressions of it being smooth and comfortable were proven to be correct.

Like most males... I became obsessed by it. In my mind it was ‘my’ Kompressor.

I researched it on the internet. I spoke to my friends about it. I dreamed about it. Every few days I went to see it again. I learned that this particular model of (Mercedes-Benz SLK-class) Kompressor had only been in Australia for a few months – hence the reason I had not seen it before. It had been modified in Europe for the Australian conditions.

It became like a drug...

When I would wake up it was the first thing on my mind. I would smile as I fell to sleep when I would think about how beautiful the Kompressor was to me. Over the next few weeks, I drove it several times and each time I returned to my apartment in South Yarra, I would find myself in two minds. There was the rational mind of knowing that it too expensive and an unnecessary purchase at this point in my life... and then the irrational mind... that this vehicle was the most incredibly sexy thing I have ever driven. I was hooked.

More about this later...

With the year of 2009 being only a few days old, I am excited about what the next few months hold for the life of Steven Owen Rafter. Moving forward with the lists (re last blog entry) I made the decision to get a job. (I have spent the last year living on small tins of tuna at home, travelling the world and drinking too many cups of coffee at my favourite coffee shops.) I got on the internet applied for several positions, telephoned the recruitment agency and attended two interviews. I am happy to report that I commence my new role this coming Wednesday. This is my reality. I am back in the workforce and staying grounded and very much looking forward it.

All the while, like the proverbial wolf at the door, ‘my’ Kompressor was on my mind. I was seeing if I could afford it. It would be so cool driving it to work. I pictured myself travelling down the Great Ocean Road during the summer, hugging the corners and escaping the city for the tranquillity of the Giant Sequoia Forest near Apollo Bay.

Before I start my new job, I have been spending my days in contact with my PA, completing spreadsheets for my business manager, in contact with the web designers and also, organising guest lists for the launch. I have been running and going to my weekly boxing classes. I also began house sitting for a friend who is South Africa. I have been flat out... but there has been more going on than I thought.

A friend (who is an avid reader) called me up to let me know that he had ‘googled me’ (yes, it made me laugh) and that he saw ‘209 A Story’ and ‘Steven Rafter’ were being discussed in writer’s and book forums in various places around the world. He also told me that over 3000 people had read my last blog. (Btw... thank you all for your email. I think I have replied to them all now)... However, what he said next really did stop me in my tracks. He told me that he had seen ‘my’ Kompressor being test driven by someone else! :-(

So, as my new year begins with sooooo many exciting things happening, I am learning many lessons and refer to my ‘reality list’ constantly to keep me grounded.

And now, early on this sunny, Sunday morning... I smile... because... to get to my new job I am catching Public Transport. I found out that ‘my’ Kompressor is being shipped back to Europe. I could not afford it. And this was my lesson... Even though we don’t always get what we want in life, learning the lesson from the disappointments often make the way ahead clearer for a better tomorrow.

Have a nice week everyone.

Cheers
Steven